Just ONE Holiday
by SailorSilvanesti
Summary: "Couldn't we have just one holiday without interdimensional demons, fire-breathing chickens or giant, pink, Easter-egg-shooting robots shaped like a demented rabbit?"  The Titans want for nothing more than a peaceful Christmas...yeah, right... Please R&R.


**Disclaimer: I do not Own The Titans, Teen Titans, or Justice League.**

**~*EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT TO YOU ALL!*~**

**This is for my avid Teen Titans/Justice League readers, I know it's early but this idea has been bugging me for a while...so here it is.**

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><p><strong>Just One Holiday…<strong>

**~)0(~**

Wally groaned as he sank into the soft green mass of the couch in the new Tower. The sound was echoed by a half-dozen others as all his teammates landed in various positions about the room; all sporting looks of exhaustion and contempt for the festive decorations placed all throughout the recreation area.

The couch moved a little as Bludhaven's protector flopped down by his side; Wally didn't even open his eyes but nudged the other in the side, "D_iiiiick!_ Move over, I totally _dibs'd_ the couch…" he whined tiredly, wanting nothing more than a giant cup of cocoa…or twelve. There was a soft snort from beside him, "Move it, West! Besides, '_dibs'd_' isn't even a real word!" replied a voice, accompanying the shove that nearly toppled him off the couch, face-first. Halting his fall in a split-second, -'cause hey…not called the 'fastest man alive' for nothing!- he took the secondary pause to snap his eyes open and shoot a dirty look at his oblivious companion.

There was a literal second where he contemplated bloody revenge, but calmed the jot of anger inside his soul and switched back to the humiliation he felt seconds earlier. His mouth opened slightly to complain, but shut abruptly and sank back onto a huge purple cushion, shutting his blazing green eyes to blot out the light of the fading day…damn they needed to get some curtains in the Tower.

"Couldn't we have just _one_ holiday without interdimensional demons, fire-breathing chickens or giant, pink, Easter-egg-shooting robots shaped like a demented rabbit? Like, _seriously_?" he just put it out there, slitting one eye to survey the room, and sliding off the remaining shreds of his scarlet cowl.

There was a groan of agreement from the Atlantean face-down in the horrendously-striped red and green beanbag to his immediate right; and a non-committal noise of vague approval or potentially disagreement, was echoed from both the Archer and the Amazon to his left. Donna and Roy were spread over two blue and yellow armchairs pushed close together.

A high-pitched giggle was swiftly followed by a substantial bodily weight landing on his lap; prompting a surprised '_Huh_?' from Nightwing and a loud '_Oomph, Kori_!' from his own lips, as Starfire landed flat over both their laps and nearly choked him on her long mess of wavy crimson hair.

The others burst out laughing at their shared predicament, which prompted him to speed out from under the Tamaranian and snatch a suspicious-looking green Chihuahua from using the nearby Christmas tree for an impromptu urinal… "_Uh uh_, out we go!" he said, tossing Beast Boy out the nearby door and into the elevator.

Garth, Donna, Kori and Roy were joking loudly now, as he watched, and tossing gingerbread cookies of Santa at one another as snow began to fall in tiny, glimmering flecks, outside the window. Still, one of his companions remained silent and sombre in such cheerful surrounds, Wally nudged the night creature… "Hey, lighten up. Didn't Bats and the rest of the Bat-Clan do Christmas or something?" he grinned widely, feeling it fall as the exceptionally flexible vigilante glanced at him with the maskless ice blue eyes and answered, "No."

"Really?" the redhead frowned. A strange hush descended, as Nightwing answered, "Yeah, can you imagine Batman singing '_Joy to the World_'? Not a pretty sight. Anyway…usually some Arkham nutter was doing something '_festive_'…like that one time Joker decided to play Santa… He and Harley Quinn were kind enough to gift wrap a neon-pink missile…which they attempted to give me via an RPG Launcher. Christmas is a busy time in Gotham, Bludhaven too, apparently. Haven't seen the Joker in…_oh no_…"

The ice blue eyes had gone wide in surprise as the vigilante hero snatched up his mask, the rest of the Titans turned to look out the window and let their jaws fall open in unison…

"Is that…?" Roy squeak undignifiedly, sitting bolt upright, only to fall off the chair as he head-butted Troia, and losing to the superior Amazon strength. Wally jumped up, catapulting Kori off his lap and across the room to land on top of Tempest, on his beanbag…who, in turn, made a '_Whoa-I've-just-totally-been-flattened-unexpectedly_' noise that sounded rather like a tyre leaking air.

"Wally, I think the answer to your question is a giant, resounding '**No!**'…" offered Dick, as the world's most unexpected sight just swung into view via the nearest window… _"Raven's not going to believe this…_" breathed Donna, gripping the yellow arm of the chair so hard it broke off and she absent-mindedly tossed it across the room, lodging it into the far wall…just below a hunk of tackily nailed mistletoe.

Through the window, larger than life and impossible to miss, Raven's father…the intergalactic demon Trigon, scourge of dimensions uncountable and destroyer of worlds, was parading past with a giant…was that a _Santa hat_ on his head? A giant sack full of burning _somethings _was slung over one shoulder and an unmistakably green, white and purple figure was laughing his head off on the other.

Loud, whooping laughter was blasting over them all, Wally was unsure about what exactly he had just seen; but it was the resounding, repetitive thudding of Nightwing's head on the nearby lounge wall that brought attention back to reality… He dashed over to grab the other before he hurt himself, "Dick, what the hell?"

Nightwing groaned, "Why can't we just have one holiday without something ridiculously random occurring? Just one…? And naturally it has to be the Joker…that guy is so destructive, and I do not need to spend another Christmas trying to pull shrapnel out of just about everywhere…"

"Maybe next year?" Garth answered hopefully, peering out the window at Satan Claus, and his mentally-challenged, homicidal elf… Donna sighed, Roy grabbed his bow and arrows, and Starfire hovered quietly by Nightwing and Flash. "Yeah, there's always next year!" enthused Wally, beaming…grabbing hold of Nightwing's shoulder to prevent the Bludhaven vigilante from returning to his blatantly incorrect use of the phrase 'head-banging', and suddenly found himself flat on the floor with a Tamaranian shield.

Fiery explosions rocked through the building, Joker sliding through the melted window down a giant, extended, red arm. "Hello kids! Ah, Birdy-Baby, so nice to see one of the Bat-brats here… Have you all been nice this year, or _naughty_?" the Joker grinned maniacally, leering at them all strangely. If any of them had been under eighteen, they would have run away screaming for an adult…

Pulling out his own weird little bag and rummaging inside; Nightwing tensed momentarily. Justifiably so, as the demented clown yanked out a handful of bauble-shaped grenades and tossed them towards the Titans, with a booming, "**HA**_HA_**HA**HA**HA**_HA_**HA**HA**HA**_HA_**HA**HA**HA**_HA_**HA**HA**HA**_HA__**HAAAA**_!"

"And you deal with this creature…often?" asked Tempest with a significant look at the clown, clearly wondering how someone like Nightwing –_or indeed _The _Batman_- could stay sane when they dealt with _this_ on a night-to-night basis. "We gonna get him now, or just talk?" questioned Red Arrow, with a quirked eyebrow behind his mask; swiftly dodging a colourful handful of dangerous décor, one bauble exploding in the exact spot he had just been standing.

Troia slammed a fist into her open palm, "I say it's time to knock the Christmas Spirit right out of him, yes?" she questioned with a large, terrifying grin that promised a world of hurt to anyone stupid enough to cross her.

Blinking momentarily, and finding a trussed Joker on the floor at her feet, bound with the string of flashing lights from the giant over-decorated tree in the corner of the room. "What say we hang him up from the ceiling…?" grinned the Flash, sitting cross-legged atop the clown, face down in the carpet. The suggestion was considered then turned down gently by their leader with a, "I don't know…he _could_ make a good angel, if we just shove a tree right up his-"

"_**Nightwing**_!" cried a handful of scandalized voices, surprised at his audacity. "What? I was _going _to say_,_ uh… _chimney_, of course!" replied the vigilante, eyes inscrutable behind his dark mask; there was a momentary pause for eye rolling, in which all his teammates indulged. "Hey, now we've dealt with the Homicidal Elf, here…what say we have a crack at taking down Satan Claus outside…? I'm jus' sayin'…" prodded Roy, peering upwards out the window at the four-eyed leering demon who was patiently awaiting his turn to tear them all to shreds.

"Don't you think we should call the League in for this…?" Donna asked hesitantly, knowing that question would have adverse repercussions for most of the Titans present, what with their mentors acting exceptionally smug and superior lately. Not that Wonder Woman was doing such a thing, but still…there was a definite _look_ when her Amazon sister surveyed her, in recent times…and she didn't particularily like it. Like the woman was still seeing her as some child in a cute little red outfit, and a ponytail…which just made life awkward.

"I agree with Red Arrow, we should take Trigon down, but…the League may be very helpful…" suggested Kori, siding with Donna, who was half-hearted on the issue herself. Garth made to say something, but shut his mouth resolutely and shook his head in disagreement; joining the multitude of others in their opinion.

Below them, Joker began to laugh uproariously, falling into that strangely Freudian analytical tone he adopted when playing psychotherapist. It was exceptionally disconcerting. "Awww, did the side-kidlings decide to be a little rebellious this year? Don't want to call in Daddy Bats and the Justice League, now do we- _mmph?__**!**_"

"Just…chew on that until we get back, alright?" Nightwing smiled distractedly, grinning at the way the Joker attempted to mumble around the plant in his mouth. A distinctive sentence fell out around the multitude of greenery, "_Dozz thizz meen I get ah kizz, pwetty bohy_?"

A spit-take moment if ever there was one in real life.

"Why on earth would we- oh," then the Titans Leader began to laugh, alongside the speedster who had caught on faster than the others… "I do not…?" began the Atlantean, but suddenly realised the type of plant that was currently gagging the deranged clown… Mistletoe. Suddenly the joke, though a land-based one, made far more sense to his aquatic sensibilities…

Moments later, as the room's occupants wiped away tears of mirth and shoved the plant a little further into the mouth of the painted creature who was whooping with maddened laughter below them on the carpeted floor; Roy cleared his throat and pointed out the window, "So, we gonna go play with Big Red out there…?"

There was a singular nod of agreement to the statement from the dark vigilante by his side. Wally prodded their leader in the cheek, "Wow, it's so _lifelike_…" and dodged the half-hearted swipe aimed at his head.

"Alright, alright…I get it… 'No messing around when the world's in peril', _sheesh_! So, what's the action plan for after we take down Big Ugly?" he paused for the other to interject with some genius bird-boy plan…but the only movement was a rapidly spreading smile that bespoke pure evil…or a daring, disturbing plan he simply _wasn't_ going to like, but would be roped into.

"Come on, let's go get Satan Claus, I know a couple of…people…who have been _very_ naughty, this year…" was the only thing Nightwing would say when prodded, before leaping out the melted window pane and snapping out a cable to prevent an unfortunate –though exceptionally attractive- pavement pizza moment from occurring.

Looking to the others as Trigon roared his rage outside, Wally shrugged, made sure the remnants of his old costume were tucked away and the new one he'd fished out of his closet when the others blinked, was fast about his form, then raced outside and straight up the Giant Demon's arm.

~)0(~

Despite the pure exhaustion that fell over each and every member who traipsed back into the room after such a gruelling mission; it was the only true human who held himself straight and strode through the shadows that seemed to linger on his cape and follow the man.

After quelling the Betaran civil uprising on Betaria Twelve for Green Lantern, -who had been trapped on Oa for some 'group hug session' or other that the Oans insisted all Lanterns partake in every so often, completely at random... The Justice League had received a distress signal from Green Arrow, who had received reports of…something large, red and potentially lethal in the vicinity of Titans Tower. Although the Teen Titans had left for some sort of holiday on one of the islands that the League secretly owned, the original Titans were there, and if the reports were correct, in grave danger.

Unsurprisingly, to his Gotham-bred sensibilities, Batman just _knew_ on an instinctive level that the Joker had something to do with this…and this caused a few parental concerns…not that he would ever admit to having them. Nightwing would not exactly be appreciative…

"Alright, I know everyone's tired but Batman tells me that the communiqué from Green Arrow loosely detailed some form of supernatural attack on Titans Tower, so let's take a moment, gear up or change if your costume was destroyed…" there was a momentary pause as Superman glanced towards Wonder Woman meaningfully, whose outfit had near been disintegrated by an native acid-spitting creature with some unfortunately unpronounceable name.

The Man of Steel had been reduced to the '_shy, rather teenage, hormonal boy _of Steel' for the whole trip back, the entire cockpit of the Javelin 7 had practically been lit up by the violently red blush on his cheeks… eventually, he'd had to remove his flowing red cape and drape it over her decoratively, in order to get any peace. A small smile quirked at the edge of Batman's lips, oh, he was _never_ going to let Clark live that one down…

His eyes slitted through the cowl as Superman's piercing blue ones met his own and quickly flitted away, like he knew that Batman was thinking about the whole situation with some great amusement. "…_and then_ we're going to transport down to the Tower, see if they're alright. Perhaps lend a hand if we're needed…" finished the Kryptonian, his shoulders losing tension as Wonder Woman wrapped his cape more closely about her nearly-naked self and sauntered away, with an exaggerated hip wiggle just to let Clark know she wasn't completely oblivious to his plight.

Martian Manhunter phased through the floor, "Wait, Diana. We are receiving a message, addressed to us all…" he raised a light green arm and clicked a small remote at the giant monitor covering one of the four walls; it flickered to life with an ominous red '_Incoming Message_' signal.

Bursting on screen, the deep midday skies of earth were clouded by a horizon full of snow-laden clouds that were slowly dropping snowflake after snowflake on a darkly-clad vigilante, larger than life on the screen. Though they could only see his head and shoulders, it became apparent the younger hero was deliberately blocking their view of…_what_, exactly?

Batman stared up at his former protégé, waiting…

He did not have to wait long.

"Hey Dad, nice to see you got back safe and all that, listen…I know we're all too busy for Christmas _soooooooo_…we –the Titans- kind of got you a group gift. Sort of a '**To:** _Justice League_, **From:** _The Titans_' situation… Sorry, but we were a little too busy to gift-wrap it…" smiled Nightwing, a voice called over his shoulder, "_Like we could FIND that much wrap…we'd have to be a Hufflepuff…_"

There had been a momentary pause in the room when Nightwing had started his speech, wondering how Batman –_the_ Batman- would react…and were surprised to find the Dark Legend merely nodded… Well, that is until the younger hero stepped away and revealed a giant, red, intergalactic demon wearing a Santa hat, trussed up like the proverbial Christmas goose and lying in the harbour like some massive, overly-decorated float. All the remaining Titans were either sitting or idling on top of the demon, Trigon…

Flash appeared close up, throwing an arm over an unsuspecting Nightwing's shoulder and beaming as he asked, "So…do you like it? Tried to find one in pink, but…well, not much variety in the interdimensional demon store at this time of year…" He let out an '_Oof!' _of protest as a certain innocent-looking _someone_ elbowed him in the ribs. Red Arrow, Troia, Tempest and Starfire waved enthusiastically from in the background, and a green hummingbird dove in and out of focus…presumably Beast Boy…unless there were any _other_ green shape-shifters floating about the universe.

…well, besides _J'onn_, of course.

A small amount of thrashing came from Trigon, but was swiftly remedied by Starfire flying up to his pointed ear, giving it a hearty smack and admonishing the all-powerful demon with some exceptionally choice Tamaranian. There was a loud chorus of, "_Merry Christmas_!" from the Titans, then the screen went blank.

Silence filled the Meeting Room of the Watchtower. Finally, Superman broke the silence, "Well, that was interesting… anybody else want lunch?" There was a murmured multitude of agreement, and the League members drained from the room, Superman pausing a moment to leave a lingering, _knowing_, eye on the Dark Knight. Knowing better than to ask him to accompany them, and turned away, leaving with that soft '_whoosh_' of flight that was so damn distinctive…

As the room vacated, the screen turned back on unexpectedly, with a flicker. Nightwing, alone this time, smiled down on his father…much to Bruce's distaste, not being one for public displays of affection to start with –even if they _were_ technically alone. He appeared to be in a slightly different location this time, inside Titans Tower…with something obscure held in one hand…

"Are they all gone, yet? Good. I have a special gift for you…this one I _did_ have time to gift-wrap…" his son lifted something obscenely purple and green, flashing into view; no, literally _flashing_. Lights, they were Christmas lights, binding the one person he would always knew would have a hand in anything mad occurring during this particular holiday… Joker. Unconscious, bound with Christmas lights and gagged on mistletoe. And…was that a giant red bow about his head…? Nightwing had clearly lost it…

Despite it all, his lips curled up in a genuine smile, "I love it, Dick. But, maybe next year…" he saw the face fall a little, but brighten as he finished with, "…you could just get me a tie, like all the other estranged children do."

Nightwing just laughed.

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><p><strong>The End.<strong>

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it, I have NO IDEA what is wrong with my mind! XD<strong>

**REVIEW, if it isn't too much trouble.**

**~*Merry, [very early,] Christmas to you all!*~**

**~**SailorSilvanesti**~**


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